"I want to show Ray my new unicorn," I tell Bella and her eyes widen in shock.

"It's late and mommy won't like it," She says, shaking her head like we don't usually sneak out.

"She is asleep and she won't know unless you tell her." She gives me an innocent look and I narrow my eyes at her. "You won't tell on me, right?"

She stays quiet for a long minute and I know that she wants a favor in return.

"I won't tell mommy that you broke her favorite glass." I blackmail her and she pouts like an adorable bunny.

"Fine then, don't take too long."

I smile at her and I walk out, tiptoeing down the stairs, careful not to wake mommy up. I stride out, leaving the door half-open, and I run to Ray's house.

She is my best friend and they live next door.

Excited to show her my new unicorn, I ring their doorbell thrice and wait impatiently for someone to open the door, but I give up five minutes later.

I don't think they are in the house.

Her dad probably took them out for dinner, he does that almost every weekend. How I wish I live with my dad too. I have never seen him though, and I don't know if he is alive or not, mom never talks about him.

I take a deep breath, and I decide to walk back home a very bored girl. As I approach our house, I see a man standing right outside looking in my direction, and I tremble in fear. 

_Who is he and what is he doing standing outside our house?_

"Hello, Bella." He greets me with a smile, and I am surprised that he knows my name yet I have never seen him.

Well, it's technically my twin sister's name, but I am so used to people calling me Bella since we look so much alike.

The stranger waves me over, a wide grin plastered on his face and I warm up to him immediately. 

"Hello..." I say when I get closer, giving him a tiny smile.

"Look at you all grown now," he says excitedly, squatting in front of me and his grin is still perfectly in place.

"Are you one of my mom's friends?" I ask curiously and he shakes his head.

"I am your uncle, Uncle Gray."

"Uncle Gray?" I ask rhetorically.

I didn't know I have an uncle, mom has never introduced us to any of our family members not even her close friends.

"Yes, your dad's younger brother." He tells me and my face lights up instantly.

"I have never seen you before," I say sadly and he smiles at me.

"You have, but you and Belle were very little."

"I am Belle," I correct him.

"God, you look so much alike, I keep confusing your names."

"It's okay, I am used to being called Bella anyways."

"Are you anxious to meet your dad?" He asks, standing up and I feel the excitement coursing through me.

"My father is here?" I shriek, and you can practically trace the joy in my voice.

I have always wanted to meet my dad.

"Yes, and-"

"Oh my God!" I shriek again, running past him to the house.

As I stride down the hallway, I hear the sound of something crashing against the floor, followed by Bella's painful scream, and without a second thought, I rush to the living area.

My mouth hangs wide open and I feel every energy drain off me as I take in the sight that is in front of me.

Bella is being held unwillingly by a very strong man, she is nose bleeding profusely and tears are running down her chubby cheeks effortlessly.

I shift my eyes towards my mom and I feel my heart breaking into bitsy pieces when I see a strong guy holding her captive and another one pointing a gun at her. Her favorite nightdress is partially torn apart exposing her upper body and she is striving so hard to free herself.

Our usually neat living area is a mess with pieces of broken glass scattered all around the floor.

"Welcome home, Belle, or is it, Bella." The guy that's pointing a gun at mom says in a very sarcastic tone, and I glance back at Uncle Gray.

I watch in horror as a glare displaces his perfect grin, and it's like humanity suddenly snaps out of him because right now he looks like a beast.

"Oooh my God! You are not an uncle of mine, are you?" I ask as the realization hits me and he sneers.

"Damn right, kid. I am not." He says taking out his gun and then he points it at me. 

My heart starts to pound incredibly fast as I stride inside and I hastily grab our phone from the couch.

"I am calling 911," I announce in an attempt to scare them away as I dial the number that's on speed dial. Suddenly, Uncle Gray knocks the phone off my hands, and then he steps on it furiously, crashing it completely.

"I must admit, I really like your courage." He smirks at me, and then he gives me a very hot slap that gets me spinning and I end up crashing on the floor.

THIRTEEN YEARS LATER.

I walk down the spiral staircase to the living area and I find my mother waiting for me patiently. 

"Belle, are you ready?" She asks me and I cast her the 'what do you think?' look. 

I am very agitated right now. 

I am nineteen for fucks sake! She shouldn't be driving me to the hospital, it pisses the hell out of me. 

"Did you carry your phone?" 

I roll my eyes.

This is going to be one hell of a boring ride, her constant questions always get to my nerves.

"Seriously, Mom, I can drive myself-" I start to complain but she cuts me in with her sweet smile.

"This is not up for debate, Belle," her voice is soft, yet so fucking firm.

I glare at her and I reluctantly follow her to the car. 

I am nineteen and I should be making my own decisions but I know they will never trust me enough to let me do that.

They always give me the 'We are doing this for your own good, Belle' crap every time I complain, but how am I supposed to improve when all they do is lock me up? I am not a threat anymore and I need that exposure, I need a normal life. I don't even get to meet people, I have been homeschooled my entire life. I am not complaining, it saves me the stress of relating awkwardly with people plus I kinda fucked up the only chance I had when I was in senior school. 

My first day in a normal school was pretty fucked up.

I glance at my car that is parked just next to mom's and wonder why they bought me a car in the first place. I don't even remember the last time I used the damn car. 

I shake my head as I sit shotgun and I put on my headphones after I am done fastening my seat belt. 

Mom gets behind the wheel seconds later and I swat her hand away when she tries to grab my headphones. She cocks her eyebrows at me and I grudgingly get rid of the headphones, cussing.

"What?" I snap when I feel her eyes on me for a moment too long.

"Tone it down, will you?" I know my attitude sucks but she doesn't give me much of a choice.

Without any intention of talking to her throughout the entire ride, I fish out a novel from my bag, the only thing that keeps me busy and alive other than Elsa and music. 

Books.

I can't listen to music without my headphones and mom hates it when I have headphones on. So, a book comes in handy. Gosh! I don't want to imagine how boring life would be without music and books. Music is like therapy to my soul and fiction takes me to another world, a world of fantasy, and I get to forget my problems for a moment.

I can feel my mom's eyes on me as she starts the car but I know she won't force a conversation with me especially when I am in a foul mood, she knows better than that.

P.S. I am always in a foul mood, always.

**♦**♦**♦**♦*

Forty-five minutes later mom pulls into the hospital's parking lot and I slide my phone and novel in my sling bag as I hop out of the car. The faster I get out and walk to Nina's office, the sooner I get out of this filthy place. 

I stretch lazily taking in the familiar surrounding and I swallow dryly. I hate this place and I so hate Doctor Nina, I hate therapy.

This place always reminds me of the reason why I started therapy and I guess that's the reason why I never improve.

I look at the building standing right in front of me and I sigh deeply. 

God everything about my life sucks.

Well, save for Elsa, she is that one piece that holds me together.

I need my life back.

It has been thirteen years, thirteen years of nightmares, eleven years of harboring hatred in my ever-cold heart, and it sucks big time. 

"Are you okay, Ana?" What's with mom and her super irritating questions. Really? Am I okay? Have I ever been okay? She knows the answer to that question already. 

God!! I fucking hate it when she drives me here, she is always pestering me. She doesn't know when to talk or when to stop.

"I... I just wanted to know if you are-"

"Okay?" I roll my eyes. "Yes, mom, I am okay. Satisfied?" I ask with a sneer and she frowns. 

I fluff my long dark hair making sure it falls on my shoulders and partly on my chest as I walk in the building with mom following me closely, and I storm inside Nina's fancy office.

I roll my eyes when I see my psychiatrist, Nina the great, swinging in her chair like she has already made it in life.

"Hey, Bella." She greets me enthusiastically and I know deep down she is mad at me for storming into her office but she is so good at masking it, such a perfect shrink, right? 

And wait, is she trying to piss me on purpose?

Calling me Bella? Really? Nina fucking knows my story and of all the people she should know better than to call me Bella.

"The name is Belle. B.E.L.L.E." I snap at her spelling my name out for her, stressing every damn letter. She is so annoying, I can't even stand her and I don't know why she is my psychiatrist. 

"You still got anger issues, Belle?" She observes and I roll my eyes. 

"I can't stand you, Nina, you annoy the hell out of me!" I plop myself on the comfortable couch and I watch as her lips pull into a very perfect smile. 

A genuine one and if I was a normal girl, I would have reciprocated that, but honestly, I don't even remember the last time I smiled genuinely at someone save for Elsa so I just glower at Nina.

"Maybe we should get you another psychiatrist?" She suggests a smile tugging on her lips and I scoff.

Is she even serious?

Nina is the best in the state and she thinks that I need another psychiatrist? Maybe I should just give this shit up.

I have been with so many psychiatrists for the past five years, and yet nothing has changed. I am still the same girl with a sucky attitude.

"I don't need another psychiatrist, Nina," I lash out at her, and mom stares blankly at me.

She is sitting comfortably on a couch opposite me and I know this is breaking her apart.

"Belle, please, you need help," Mom tells me, and Nina nods.

I doubt if anyone will ever help me out of this, they should give up on me.

I already did. I gave up.

I gave up on everything thirteen years ago.

"I don't need help," I state out clearly, and the two women glance at each other. "I don't need a psychiatrist, I would rather listen to music than come for therapy." Seriously this whole therapy thing is a waste of time and money.

"Loosen up, Belle, please," I turn to glare at mom and I almost pity her. She is trying very hard not to break down, but I can see the tears forming in her eyes.

"She is right," Nina says and I snap my head towards her, shocked. "Maybe she doesn't need a therapist, maybe she needs something else." She pauses and looks at me. "I think we should enroll her in a normal university-"

"We tried that when she was in highschool and she almost killed Jenna!" Mom retorts, and I shoot her a sharp glare.

Did she have to say that out loud?

"I was fourteen mom!" I snap at her, rolling eyes to infinity.

"Would you like that? I think it might help-"

"You should know better than that, Nina. How are you even the best in the state? Honestly, you suck at this." I scream at her and instead of snapping back at me, she just smiles and that's what annoys me the most.

She is supposed to be mad, right? But she masks it with a perfect smile. She knows how to control her emotions and I wonder how she does it.

"Will that help?" Mom asks trying to ignore what I just said about Nina and her sucky job.

"She needs to meet and interact with people, she is seventeen and she doesn't even have a boyfriend, not even a close friend."

"I have Elsa!"

"Elsa is your sister, Belle." mom is quick to remind me.

"She needs some normalcy, let's see if this will work for her," Nina tells mom and after a few convictions, she agrees with Nina.

I won't lie, a part of me is excited about the whole going to school thingie but as we walk out of Nina's office, I can't help but wonder...

Will I get along with people?

Will I make any friends?

Will I get a boyfriend?

What if I end up hurting someone else?

"It is for your own good, Belle," Dad tells me and I sneer.

We are in the family room and they have been trying to put some sense into me for the past one hour. They seem pretty convinced that I can do it and I just hope things won't get worse than they already are.

They enrolled me at States University last week and I am starting my classes tomorrow. I don't know how this will end but a part of me is willing to take the risk. If I want to have a social life then I gotta learn how to relate with people. But also there is a part of me that's feeling quite pessimistic.

What if I end up hurting someone else? I almost killed Jenna five years ago. What if I end up killing someone this time?

"Plus I will walk with you, sis, you won't go through this alone and you know that, right?" Elsa says, giving me her beautiful signature smile.

I always wonder how she does it.

The smile.

She has the most beautiful smile in the entire universe, her smile makes everything beam brighter, Bella's smile, and she has her eyes too. A pair of beautiful chocolate brown eyes that always seem to assure me that it is gonna be okay.

I don't know why the two have all these things in common and at times I tend to think that I love Elsa because of her similarities with Bella and that explains why she is the only person I get along with.

"I don't know, Elsa, I am so anx...."

"Look at me, Belle," she tilts my chin making me face her and somehow I get convinced that it is going to be okay.

"You can do this, okay?" I nod and take a very deep calming breath. I can do this. "I got your back." She reminds me for the umpteenth time tonight. She never gets tired of reminding me that she will always have my back, always and forever.

I heave a sigh when she takes me in her arms and I lean my head on her shoulder when she starts to fondle my back assuringly. 

"We all got your back, Belle, we love you so much," mom reminds me and I sigh. 

I know they would do anything for me but I am an ass all the damn time. I don't make anything easy for them, yet they always go the extra mile for me. They take all my shit and no matter how many times I fuck up they still love me, always trying their best to make life easier for me.

"Plus the administration will make sure you are given special attention." I glare at dad in disbelief. 

Really, special attention? And they want me to change? 

"I don't have special needs to be given any special attention, dad, I am seventeen for fucks sake and you should involve me when making decisions for me!" He gives me that innocent look and I already know what his next sentence is. 'We are doing this for you Belle'.

"We are doing this for you Belle," mom gives me the most cliché six words I know. 

They are ever doing everything for me. I am nineteen and yet they treat me like a fucking toddler.

"For me?" I snap rhetorically. "You don't know what I want, you never bothered to ask what I fucking want, and you decided for me? I am so tired of all this, sick and fucking tired," I yell at them and pull out of Elsa's arms.

I swear I want to punch something so bad. I am very much aware of their eyes on me but I don't give a fuck right now.

"You need this, Belle," Mom tells me, taking a step towards me.

"I don't want any special attention. Everybody will know that I am a psychotic bitch who can't control her emotions and they will mock me." I scowl.

_That's exactly what you are._ My subconscious mocks me and I clench my fists.

"I am not psychotic! I am not a-" I start to yell.

"Belle!" I snap back to earth when Elsa calls my name and glared at her.

"You know what, fuck this whole thing. I am done."

I knew this whole shitty thing was a waste of time. 

"We had to Belle, you need special att-"

"Shut the fuck up, mom, you don't know what I fucking need. I need a normal life and the administration promising to give me attention is not even close to normal." She sighs deeply and I roll my eyes running upstairs, good thing no one tries to stop me, they know better than that. 

I am taking two stairs at a time and I storm into my room breathing rapidly. I take my headphones from the nightstand and flop myself on the bed putting the headphones on, God knows I need some sanity right now.

********

"Yes that romper short, Belle," Elsa tells me pointing at the floral romper short in my hands but I am quick to shake my head.

The last thing I want is attention, it is my first day at State University and I could do without people turning heads to look at me. 

I don't know how Elsa managed to convince me but I am giving it a shot. I am doing this for her.

"Joining campus in the middle of a semester is enough, I hate attention," I tell her tossing the shorts in the wardrobe, and I fish out a pair of dark blue jeans and a white crop top and Elsa nods in approval. 

Five minutes later I walk to the dressing mirror and I wear very minimal makeup, I make sure to hide the scar on my neck by letting my massive curled hair fall on my shoulders and partly on my chest, and I nod at my reflection in satisfaction.

I look like a normal college girl and I guess I am ready to go. 

I take my bag and sling it over my shoulder before walking out of my room with Elsa following me closely.

"You look enthusiastic, Belle," dad comments on my way out, and I roll my eyes at him.

I walk past him without acknowledging him and stand a meter away waiting impatiently for Elsa who stops to talk to him.

"Take care of Belle for me please," he tells Elsa and I watch them do the father-daughter hug with a sneer. 

Don't they ever get tired of hugging now and then?

"Remember our slogan?" Elsa asks when we step out of the house and I nod.

"I can do this," she smiles perfectly at me as she rounds the car to the driver's seat.

I glance at my car while I sit shotgun in Elsa' Porsche and I sough.

What a boring life.

I can't even drive myself to school? I pleaded with mom for my car key last night and I gave up eventually.

I buckle up and put my headphones on while I ignore Elsa's eyes on me and without saying a word she drives out of the driveway to the freeway. 

Thirty minutes later she is pulling into the school's parking lot. "Welcome to State University." She says unbuckling and then she hops out of the car. 

I glance at her and she prods me to get out of the car with her persuasive smile. 

"You will be fine," she assures me when I start to fidget with the strap of my bag and I smile at her nervously. "I can sit with you in your first class." She suggests but I am quick to shake my head. 

I need to do this on my own besides she has sacrificed a lot for me.

"I can do this," I am freaking out but I can't tell her that, she can't know.

"That's my baby sis," she takes my hand and walks me to the lecture halls, almost ten meters from the parking lots. 

"Thanks, for-"

"It's nothing, I will always have your back, always and forever?"

"Always and forever," I say, smiling at her and she smiles right back.

"Let me walk you to class,"

"It's fine, I got this."

"Okay, I am a hallo away and I will be standing right here waiting for you after your lecture." she hugs me goodbye and I strut inside the hall.

"You can do this," I psych myself and proceed to walk to a lecture room that is almost half full and I can feel all eyes on me as I take a seat in the front row.

I fish out my novel and I get busy as I wait for the professor.

"Where is that new girl?" Someone shouts from the back less than ten minutes later and I am not surprised that he already knows there is a new girl. News do spread fast on campus.

I choose to ignore him hoping that he'll take a hint and leave me alone but he doesn't.

"Hey pretty?" The same voice only that it is so much closer, I ignore him, again, but he makes a grave mistake when he snatches my phone and I instinctively lunge for his fucking neck.